Are you tired of your current story? How to change your narrative and live the life you want.
In today’s fast-paced society, we are constantly being asked to be switched on, highly productive, and always available. There seems to be little room for downtime, and the overwhelming pressure of having no plans or taking a moment to relax is now often viewed as simply being lazy. By the time we realise we need a moment to decompress from our busy lives, we are burnt out and exhausted. At this point, we feel so drained and void of any emotion that we walk around like zombies on autopilot. This feeling can be quite debilitating. You can feel numb, struggle to make decisions, and even feel depressed.
The number of times this has happened to me is ridiculous. And it feels like a cycle I struggle to break. By the time I am in a zombie state, I am so devoid of energy that completing simple tasks feels like a towering brick wall standing right in front of me that I can’t break down or climb over. I’m at breaking point and finally realize it’s time I need to reset and focus on finding me again.
The cycle generally goes like this...
After months of internal fighting, going back and forth, I finally decide something has to change, and I quit my job. I decide enough is enough; it is time to focus on myself and actually find happiness in this life of mine. I block out negative people and slowly but surely find some energy again. I start going for more walks, cleaning up my diet, and finding joy in the small things again. I start to feel like me again. But then I find that new job, whether it be something I have found or somebody contacting me with an offer. And I take it. I have that spark of optimism that maybe, just maybe, this will be the one job that makes me happy. The one I can last at and do well at and show up every day with energy. This time I will excel and be recognized and actually enjoy going to the same office every day and just not get burnt out. So, I take that job with some excitement and joy, then slowly but surely that cycle begins again, and bam! Back in burnout mode.
For years I have never understood why it keeps happening. And why do I keep getting myself caught in those ruts? The mental toll these journeys take me on is exhausting. I feel so alone as I watch colleagues and strangers alike thrive and enjoy their jobs and lives, and I am here struggling to get out of bed. They aren’t fun, and I am done being that person.
Now I am finally realizing and waking up to this constant cycle, I am questioning why I keep getting myself into the same situations over and over again. Like, wake up! It’s time to change your narrative, sweetheart.
So why do we let ourselves reach these exhausting states of burnout?
One word that comes to mind is fear.
We have been brought up with society’s expectations that to be successful and validated, we need to study hard, work hard, and even play hard. Being busy is in, and resting is lazy. This idea has been ingrained into us from a very early age, so the thought of going against the majority can be frightening. It’s taking a step on a path that no one else is on with you.
These external pressures can then lead us to strive for perfectionism and create high expectations in all aspects of our lives, creating even more self-doubt and exhaustion. We often set incredibly high standards for ourselves, whether it's in our careers, personal lives, or social responsibilities, and trying to meet these expectations can lead to constant stress and overexertion.
Meanwhile, striving to be perfect can result in an endless cycle of effort without ever feeling satisfied with our achievements. This can quickly deplete our energy and morale too.
How do we change our narrative?
As I have become awakened to my recurring cycle over the years, I am constantly arguing with myself about how to change my narrative. I want to take that leap and live true to myself, yet I'm terrified it will go wrong and I’ll end up in a horrible place. That fear I mentioned above constantly hovers around. But I know I’m not like everyone else, and honestly, I can’t keep pretending anymore that I can fit into the normal standards of society. It’s time to change for real.
Changing our narrative is a powerful process that involves reshaping the way we view ourselves, our experiences, and our future. As I begin my new chapter, the below steps are ways I have awakened to myself and the tools I am using to change my narrative:
Identify the current narrative: Take some time to reflect on the story you currently tell yourself about your life. What are the recurring themes or beliefs? Are they positive or negative?
Challenge negative beliefs: Identify any negative or limiting beliefs you hold about yourself. Question their validity and look for evidence that contradicts them.
Reframe your experiences: Instead of focusing on the negative aspects of past experiences, try to find the lessons and growth opportunities they provided. This can help you see your past in a more positive light.
Create a new vision: Imagine the person you want to become and the life you want to live. What values, qualities, and goals define this new version of yourself?
Rewrite your story: Start telling yourself a new story that aligns with your vision. This might involve affirmations, journaling, or simply being mindful of your self-talk.
Take action: Begin making changes in your daily life that support your new narrative. This could involve setting new goals, adopting new habits, or seeking out new experiences.
Surround yourself with positive influences: Spend time with people who uplift and support you. Their positivity can help reinforce your new narrative.
Practice self-compassion: Be kind to yourself as you navigate this process. It's normal to encounter setbacks, but remember that growth takes time.
You have the power to create
As we embark on our journeys to truly find ourselves and live the lives we really want, be kind to yourselves. Let us feel the excitement as we build a stronger connection to ourselves and find what makes us genuinely happy. Through mindfulness, meditation, and a positive mindset, we have the power to create the life we want, and we can change our story to be whatever we want it to be.
Recognising the signs of burnout early and taking proactive steps to manage stress, set boundaries, and prioritize self-care can help prevent reaching the point of complete exhaustion. But sometimes, we need to realize that perhaps this burnout is a sign we need to change. It’s a sign that we aren’t aligning to our true selves.
Leave me a message – Have you changed your narrative? If so, how? I would love to hear your story.
Remember, be kind to yourself and change is possible.
Love, Arcii xx
